


Only a Weapon

by Izaria_TalonStrike



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Alternate Origin Story, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Injury Recovery, Major Character Injury, Medical Experimentation, Medical Torture, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Minor Alterations to Major Canon Events, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Scars, Serious Injuries, Starvation, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 06:43:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20541806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izaria_TalonStrike/pseuds/Izaria_TalonStrike
Summary: Sometime between the Garleans conquest of Doma and Ala Mhigo, a new project was initiated with the goal of creating devastatingly powerful living weapons through the use of medical experimentation and aether amplification. Thousands of children were taken, of which only a small handful survived the relentless tests that tore the very fabric of one's being apart. Most of the survivors were no more than empty husks overflowing with power, while some tended to be so explosively unstable that they were forced to wear aetheric dampening devices. The scarce few that maintained control of both their minds and constantly evolving abilities were ruthlessly trained and punished for the smallest perceived slights or failure in progress. At the fall of Dalamud, the entire complex of secret research facilities are obliterated, leaving nothing behind, save one ten year old AuRa.





	Only a Weapon

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all, new to Fanfic and writing in general, let me know what you think. Constructive criticism welcomed.

Covered in blood, caked with dirt and bits of rubble as muddy water crept slowly over her bare feet. Dark smokey tendrils withdrew from the edges of the massive crater and back toward her before dissipating entirely. The bright blue aetheric glow emanating from the strange intricate markings that blanketed her body began to fade away, leaving no trace of it's existence behind. "Never again. I refuse to be used or tricked by these demons any longer." she said, as she stared at her hands in disgust, both at herself for her loss of control and at the sheer volume of blood that coated her body. Looking up from her hands she saw the devastation she had caused in the early morning light. Gone, it was all gone. Where there once stood a huge Garlean experiment and testing facility with tall oppressive towers that seemed to stab into the sky, only an enormous crater remained lined with the sparse rubble from parts of the facility that had not been thoroughly obliterated. Guilt gnawed at her gut and tore at her heart, eyes glazed with tears distorted her vision. She knew she couldn't stay there any longer, the risk of being recaptured was too great especially in her weakened state. Shivering as the sensation of restraints ghosted across her skin followed by the smell of burning flesh as distant screams echoed in her horns, icy fear gripped her chest, crushing the air from her lungs. "Stop it!" she snapped at herself, trying to drown out the memories flooding her mind. Pushing herself forward into the aether stream on trembling legs in hopes of putting as much distance from this terrible place as possible. 

A combination of fatigue and curiosity at seeing an enormous aetheric void drew her to leave the aether stream while hoping that she had given herself enough distance from the decimated facility. She wasn't prepared for the shock of seeing the vast wasteland before her. Eerily devoid of aether, the lack of even the slightest breeze making the air stale. Tiny pockets of aether remained far underground or in the form of small groups of deformed creatures that wandered across the odd flaking powdery. She had to get away from here, the wasteland did nothing but make her skin crawl. Stream travel was extremely dangerous in her current state, sharp pain followed by a salty metallic taste flooded her mouth, she spit blood into the lifeless land. Skin prickled with sharp tingling as she clenched her fists, 'Better to die in the stream than risk getting caught' she thought as ice clawed her spine. She walked into the stream on stiff legs, what little strength she had left she focused on jumping as far as she could. The jump had been the easy part she realized, the maintained focus needed to exit the stream safely wavered as in her exhaustion. Tumbling from the stream in a tangle of limbs, she landed beside a great river. Clawed hands dug desperately into the dirt barely stopping her from rolling right into the it's rushing waters. "You didn't fall in stupid." she said trying to calm her panicked mind and racing heart. Limbs trembled violently as she scrabbled away from the river bank's edge. Pain lanced white hot through her body from reopened wounds, she fought her weakening limbs, her lungs burning as she dragged herself further from the river. Warm blood soaked the singed and torn remnants of her once grey sleeveless shirt and black shorts. Boneless limbs refused to move as she struggled against the exhaustion pulling her under. Voices from friends long gone shouted warnings within her mind, begging her to fight, to run, to survive, to live. Coughs wracked her body in defiance of her slowing heart. The world tilted and swayed as though rocking her to sleep, "I'm sorry.....my friends.....I broke.....my promise." she said wheezing softly. Her body relaxed as she gave in to the overwhelming darkness. 

Her body stiff and sore as though she had taken yet another beating. 'Great, hope the others are ok.' she thought. Her thoughts lurched, all pain forgotten as she clawed her way from the fog. Finally on her feet as she scanned the oddly colorful walls and ceiling. Bright light drew her attention to a tall white haired female Xaela carrying an oddly shaped staff. Edging away from her slightly "Awake are you, its not even been a full day yet." she said sounding amused or impressed she couldn't tell. The woman took a step toward her, hands reaching out... she stepped back raising her own hands as she felt the surge of aether ignite her veins in an icy blaze. Varying elements coiled tightly around her arms, comfort at having some small strength back contested with the gripping fear from her aether and body practically whining in protest. The woman had paused lowering her hands "Ok, easy there young warrior." she said as a smirk tugged at her lips. "My name is Sadu, Khan of the Dotharl. What's your name?" she asked. "I don't have one." she said flatly as she searched Sadu's face for whatever trick she was playing at. Words, she had learned a long time ago, were empty and held little to no truth. Far better to seek out truth from ones body and facial expressions and ignore words all together. "I'm not sure I understand little warrior." she said in confusion. 'Does she truly not know?' she thought slightly hopeful. "I'm only a weapon, I don't have a name." she said watching her reaction closely. Sadu seemed shocked "Who told you this?" she asked voice laced with anger. She felt her body flinch at the question before a low growl escaped her "Garleans." she spat her own anger rising. Sadu stared at her deep in thought before she slowly gestured to the flap she had just come through. "We found you by the (great) river, unconscious in a pool of your own blood." she said hesitantly. She slowly lowered her hands, the varying elements fading. "What do you want with me?" she asked wary of why they had brought her here. "For you to heal, after that do as you wish, but know you are welcome here young warrior." she said while indicating the bandages wrapped around much of her body before gesturing outside once more. She hadn't noticed them until now, the Garleans didn't believe in using healers on test subjects unless it was during surgery or an experiment. She shook her head not wanting those memories to surface, instead focusing carefully on Sadu unsure what to do or say. "Come, let me show you." she said before leaving. She hesitated a moment before following, curious and somewhat hopeful.

After the first few days she had chosen to live in the ruins near the tribe, she hardly spoke to anyone and shied away from everyone that went near her except for Sadu. She spent most of her time meditating and training on her own. The following moon passed swiftly, she had grown to find comfort in the familiar presence of the Dotharl warriors. They had talked of other tribes they had battled during the great battles of the Naadam, pride for their fierce brethren with excited anticipation for the rebirth of their fallen. Sadu had mentioned how she had seen the soul of an undying one within her own eyes, one she had said they had thought long lost to them. Most Dotharl were reborn within their own tribe, few would be born into other tribes among the steppe but she had been the first Sadu had recognized being reborn outside of the steppe. She had asked Sadu who she thought she saw within her only to watch sadness wash over her face and eyes before being told she would have to become one with the tribe first. It was an odd existence to live near the tribe but not yet be one of them. It bothered her little since this was a paradise, one she still feared to lose at times. 

Three moons had come and gone as she learned to spend more time among the warriors. Healing their injured, learning their stories and hunting game with them. Igumei rushed toward her "Young Warrior, please come quick one of the children has been stung." he said as he doubled over trying to catch his breath. She tried to loosen the tension that coiled throughout her body "Where?" she asked. He pointed in the general direction of the kids training area. She took off quickly, scorpions had been extra aggressive in the area lately as had many other creatures. A small group of children had huddled together as several scorpions approached them ignoring the few they had left writhing in pain on the sands. Without thought a barrier appeared around the small group as she flicked her hands forward to the few the scorpions had attacked. A soft blue glow emanated from all of the children as she turned her attention to the scorpions. Small splinters of aether shot rapidly from her hands stilling them all. Her scales began to itch, dread pooled in her gut and lightning clawed at her spine. She crouched clawed hands moved rapidly in odd gestures with her arms igniting with element, her veins scorched in the bright icy fire surging through her as the odd markings claimed her skin. Bright blue tendrils shot forward wrapping themselves around the children before pulling them all toward her. She reinforced and expanded the barrier over them all just as a huge explosion of sand revealed an enormous scorpion. Quickly she ensured the barrier would continue to emit healing magic before she walked out of the barrier. She blasted the creature several yalms from the barrier before stepping into the stream. It hissed violently as it landed only to be met with a volley of aether blades as she stepped from the stream next to it. She growled as she bathed it in fire, extinguishing it in ice only to melt the ice to water before zapping it with lightning. She launched its twitching body into the air using wind to slam it back to the ground as she crushed it with sand and rock. Sweat trickled down her skin as she fought to slow her breathing and restrain her anger. She dropped to her knees as the scorching within her veins faded with the markings. She heard the crunch and shift of sand far behind her, but it sounded distorted and muffled. She stood slowly as she turned to see the kids pressed up to the edge of the barrier staring in awe. Shocked warriors stood beside the barrier watching her warily. She lowered her head, eyes boring holes in the sand at her feet. Sensing that none of the children were suffering from poison any longer she dropped the barrier. Nervousness and anxiety ran through her body like an erratic wave of lightning causing her to tremble slightly. Sadu approached her, she didn't need to see or hear to know it was her, she recognized her unique aura of jagged earth and untamed flames. She tensed ready for whatever Sadu deemed to be a fitting punishment. "I knew I recognized your soul Khilen, welcome home." she said. Too shocked to move or even breathe as her thoughts raced in her confusion only for her thoughts to come crashing to a halt as she heard cheers and warrior cries coming from the Dotharl behind Sadu. She looked up slowly to Sadu, "Khilen... I don't understand." she said wary of what she had meant. Sadu smiled softly at her "Even weapons have names." she said with pride as she extended a hand toward her. "You gave me a name, a real name." she said unsure whether to believe this was actually happening. "You protected the future of our tribe Khilen." she responded. "You may still only see yourself as the weapon they made you, but I will always see you for the warrior you are." she whispered placing her hand gently on Khilen's shoulder. 

"You're really gonna leave the Steppe Hellsfury?" Munglig asked. She cringed at the name she earned during her first Naadam little more than three years ago. "Yes, I'm meeting the Khan at Reunion before I leave." she said carving small marks into a long aether staff. "Too bad, we could use our strongest warrior in taking down Girimekhala." he said teasingly. "Don't let Agujam hear you say that." she said slipping the knife back into the sheathe at her hip while mockingly looking around in the darkness of the early morning. "Ugh, don't remind me." he said laughing. "Stay safe out there Khilen." he said slight worry creeping into his voice. "You know I will." she said with a slight smile adjusting the grip on her staff as she turned leaving the Khaa behind. The squeaks and groans of carts moving supplies coupled with the chatter of Reunion's first customers as she drew closer to the markets. It didn't take long for her to spot Sadu amidst the patrons. "Khan." she said alerting the woman to her approach. Sadu turned toward her with a faint smile. "You're sure this is what you want?" she asked again. "I'm sure. I'm finally strong enough." she said looking down in shame as memories of all the deaths she caused during her first Naadam swam through her mind. "Khilen." she prodded gently breaking through the rising fog. She looked back to her apologetically. "Thanks Sadu, for everything." she said shyly. "Of course sister, you're always welcome here." she said placing her hand on the young girls shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze as goodbye before she turned leaving Reunion. "Stay safe out there." she said as she continued on her way. "You too." she whispered before looking for her friend Khaishan. 

Khaishan was one of the Qestir in Reunion that had been patient enough to teach her their ways of speech using hand movements. This form of sign language was only shared among other Qestir in private and on rare occasion a well trusted outsider. He had told her that their language wasn't sacred outside of the Steppe and even their Khan, Itugen, had given her permission to teach others she trusted beyond the Steppe. She didn't find this too odd since it was hard for her to trust others, there were even members within her own tribe she refused to speak around. She had earned the trust of the Qestir after healing many of their number that had been severely wounded in a Dzo stampede near the market a few years back. She waved once she caught sight of him setting up some of the stands. He paused in his setup while beckoning her to follow him. Excitement rolled off her in waves as she followed. Khaishan having been beyond the Steppe for trade had told her that the scars that claimed nearly every ilm of her skin were bound to draw unwanted attention. He told her how he planned to craft her a cloak last year after she revealed her plans to him to help her on her travels. He paused near his yurt pulling a dark grey wide hooded cloak from an inky blue pack that matched her hair. "'Khaishan, it looks amazing!'" she signed. He gave a slight nod handing it to her, she quickly covered her staff in a black wood as she handed it to him. He held her staff gingerly, still nervous at its touch, as she tried it on. He reached behind her pulling the hood carefully around her horns and reaching for the mouth scarf attached to the cloak. "'This way you can hide the scales as well as scars on your face and neck.'" he signed proudly. "'Looks like you've thought of everything.'" she signed. He paused reaching for the pack pulling out a pair of sandals "'I know you wont wear them, but just in case.'" he signed placing them back inside and pulling a light grey sleeveless top and black shorts from the pack handing them to her. "'You really made them.'" she signed shocked as she took them. "'A few sets actually. I thought more about what you said, I understand why its so important to you Khilen.'" he signed fidgeting as he pulled tinted goggles from the bag. "'You should be able to see just fine in these, but no one will see them change unless...'" he signed nervously placing them back in the pack. She reached for his hands giving them a gentle squeeze. He gave a small nod to his yurt, she let go of his hands taking the pack and staff he offered her as she turned to walk into the yurt. She placed her colorful Dotharl garbs into the pack after changing quickly. She left the yurt witnessing the morning sun's light caress the Steppe as it peeked over the horizon. Her heart ached a bit watching it climb dressed as a shrouded foreigner. "'Please stay safe in your travels sister.'" he signed tears glazing his eyes. "I promise brother, thank you." she whispered as she pulled his tall frame into a hug. She set out toward lands unknown hoping to fulfill a promise she made long ago.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if it was all over the place, let me know what you think.


End file.
